Monday, September 14, 2009

I came home to find my entire house had been cleaned! The cleaning fairies (my wonderful cousins) had come and made sure everything was neat and tidy for me. They even changed the bed linens so when I finally got into bed it was heaven!!!
In my room, on my dresser mirror, I have remembrance cards from my mother's, father's(who died right before Christmas and with whom I was extremely close) and brother's funerals. I settled into bed and started to cry. I was asking my parents to be with me, to help me get through this, and questioning why they weren't there when I needed them the most, when all three cards simultaneously fell from the mirror onto the dresser. I immediately felt calm and at peace and knew they were there, supporting me, loving me, giving me strength. I know it sounds weird but it was the strangest, most comforting feeling I've ever had and it's the last thing I remembered until morning.

Again with the rain!!!! Every time something major has happened since the day we received George's diagnosis it has rained. I walk into the ICU, fully prepared today to see him at his worst but find I am totally unprepared for what I'm seeing. He is up, out of bed and sitting in a chair! Good Lord, I cannot believe my eyes!!!! He has a note pad on a table beside him and is already begging his nurse to get him out of here and put him back on the regular floor!!! I simply cannot believe the man I left flat on his back just hours ago looks wonderful!
The nurse tells me he fought his way up and out of the sedation last night and has amazed everyone in the unit. He has responded so quickly that the doctors have agreed to put him back on the head/neck surgical floor. I'm told they are waiting for a room to be cleaned and then we'll be on our way back upstairs!

We're back on the head/neck floor and he's being welcomed like a long, lost friend. He had 2 of the best male nurses I've ever met when he first was admitted and we are pleased to see both of these wonderful men back and caring for him again. Jack explains that because George was released from ICU so early the nurses will be in every hour for the first 24 hours to check on him and take vitals.
Jack hooks up all the various medicines prescribed-the drug pole is filled to its max-and starts explaining what they are, what they're for and the dosage for each. He explains the bag with the liquid containing his "food," the humidified oxygen around his neck and shows me the wound vacuum attached to George's arm that will help the "free flap" heal quicker and with less chance for infection.
In my mind questions are bursting forth like pop-up ads on a computer screen but, for the moment, I can't pay attention to them. I am so glad to see my love alive, awake and alert. The relief is as overwhelming as the fear was.
The most noticeable thing is George's color. Before the surgery he was pale and grey. He was beginning to look old and tired. Now he is ruddy complected again and while he still looks tired it's not the same tiredness I saw just 2 days ago. He looks like the man I fell in love with and married. It's startling to see the difference and sobering to realize how close he was to dying.
He's amazing!!!!! He's asking to get out of bed and wants to hit the bathroom with as little help as possible! Jack helps me figure out how to get all the various tubes and cords ready, shows me how to keep the wound vac adjusted and away we go...pole, vacuum, drugs, cords, plugs and George... off to the bathroom!

It's been another long day. As I prepare to leave I look out the window at the city beyond and realize it's no longer raining. The city is dazzling. I help George get settled for the night, turn out his room light and walk out to the first rain-free night since this all began. It feels good.


  1. I sensed a deep sense of calm and peace from this post.
    May it continue that way!

    I'm so happy for you and your husband is am amazing man!


  2. I am so happy for you and your husband. May joy and happiness you feel continue.

  3. Oh I love hearing you sound so up beat and relieved....this has been a good day for everyone. There will many more days like this and unfortunately some bumpy roads lie ahead as well. You are doing great, living in the moment and enjoying life as you should. Stay well my friend, and I am so pleased to read how well your husband is doing, what a blessing. I wish you many more wonderful days ahead and may your attitude during this journey always remain the same.....:-) Hugs

  4. I really appreciate your support Margie. it's so nice to know that the world has loving, caring folks like you in it. I thank you so much for that. :-)