Wednesday, October 20, 2010

How quickly things change

“Sorry, honey- I wish the news was better.” Even though I read the written report, pored over the PET and CT scans, had seen the tell-tale reddish-yellow hot spots and obvious black dots, I still did not want to hear those words. It took my breath away. I so wanted to believe that I had misread the words- had not understood what I saw. I should have known the results weren’t good. It was raining. It rained the day George was first diagnosed, on the day of every surgery he had and on the day my father died. Bad news, rain and the two of us....not a good combination. George's cancer has returned. The round-robin of surgeons, oncologists and tests of every conceivable type has begun. We wait again.

This time the wait is different. This time we have some knowledge of this disease. We’ve been here before and some of the fears have already been faced. But there are new fears to be conquered and new questions to ask. The wait is different…but, still…it is “The Wait.”

Sunday, October 3, 2010

I'm back...I think !

The last time I posted I had just finished planting the beginnings of my summer flower garden.
Now, summer is gone, the flower beds are prepared for the long, cold winter ahead and I have found some time to finally touch base with all those I’ve kept in my thoughts, prayers and heart all summer long.
After 10 years of dating, my daughter and her fiancĂ© finally decided to “take the plunge” and were married in July. Of course, once this decade long decision was made they made up their minds that the wedding had to be this summer. And the whirlwind began! To make a long story short – we pulled together a wedding (with all the trimmings) for over 200 guests in less than 3 months! It was wonderful, she was beautiful and I am still exhausted!
George handled the wedding day very well. It was so hard for him to put himself in the public eye and he was very apprehensive. While not her biological father, George is Christi’s father in every way a man can be. She wanted him to walk her down the aisle but he was not strong enough. Her brother and her son did the honors. At the reception there was a notecard placed at everyone’s seat telling them that instead of wedding favors a "donation was being made in George’s name to the Head & Neck Cancer Center because without them her Pop would not be here to share this day with her." When she saw that George was getting tired she talked with him and made the decision to forgo the father-daughter dance. To her it was more important that he be there with her and be able to stay for the entire celebration. Her thoughtfulness allowed him to stay for the entire reception- a memory they will have forever.
His physical recovery has been excellent but his mental and emotional recovery is taking a while. We heard about Chemo brain – but I wonder – is there a Radiation brain?
During all of the wedding preparations there was also sad news. Two friends lost their battles with cancer and on July 4th, my cousin was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. She is now facing life’s hardest challenge and with very little insurance coverage her battle is that much more difficult. Her sister is her caregiver, and I hope that, through my experiences this past year, I will be able to help her help her sister.
So, my dear blogger friends , I am off to read your blogs and catch up with you all. I hope the summer has been kind to all of you , and, while I have not been in touch, you all have been in my thoughts and my prayers.