I’ve been trying to blog but have been unable to write about anything without sounding whiney; and that just seemed “unholiday.” The holidays were nice and I am extremely grateful that my beloved was here to participate in those special days. It felt almost…well…normal.
I keep deluding myself into thinking things are becoming normal. Then suddenly, without warning, the new normality sinks in. A recent visit to the oral surgeon was one of these times.
A small bone spur had to be removed from George’s gum. The surgeon came in, looked in George’s mouth, grabbed a pair of dental pliers and started to remove the piece. No warning, no medication, nothing. From my chair across the room I watched in horror as my husband’s hands curled around the arms of the chair and his legs and body stiffened. I realized “Oh my God, he can’t even say “Ow” or “that hurts,” or even “Stop!” I bolted out of my chair yelling, “hey-you’re hurting him." I felt so helpless. I looked into George’s big, blue eyes and could see his pain and fear. If I felt helpless I could only imagine how powerless he felt. I’m afraid I wasn’t very polite with that young surgeon but I’m sure he will never again assume his patient can communicate.
I should relate that the chemotherapy treatments have been completed and George has had no hair loss, no nausea/vomiting or any of the other interesting side effects chemo is known to bring. Radiation will be finished on the 18th of this month. He is getting fluids daily and is weak, frustrated, and very, very short-tempered.
The radiation oncologist wanted to keep him overnight at the hospital a couple of weeks back because his vitals were so low. George’s answer to that idea was “No Way in Hell! You can either remove these lines and let me out of here now or I take them out and leave, but either way I’M LEAVING!”
You guessed it – they let him go home! Now they ask me what his “temperature” is when he comes in in the morning!
Let’s hope his “temperature" stays “normal” until the treatments have all been completed.